the reason...

the reason i write in this blog is to get over him. he is the only person i want to be with now and for the rest of my life. at least that's how i feel now.

{it's been almost five months. things happen and i slowly get over you. i want to get over you because i know you'll never come back. at this moment i feel bliss. it's 8:30 in the morning and i planned on sleeping in but i got up and thought of you. last night i chatted with you for an hour. i haven't heard from you since. my heart pounded because i miss you so much. i wonder if you still love me like i love you. you put yourself out to be very successful. i'm so proud. i got the courage to ask you about any relationships you've been in. am i really the last girl you kissed? i'm flattered. i'm sure you're bullshiting somewhat. i know i was; i lied, i told you that i haven't seen anyone since.

i keep daydreaming that maybe we'd cross paths in the summer. i assumed you were going to take summer classes again but you have an internship. you have made a lot for yourself. when you tell me this i didn't know if you were trying to rub it in my face or just telling me so i can be happy for you, either way i am very happy for you. it's good to see that you get along with your roommates. still running....same ol', same ol'.

i really hope you're turning in your bed as much as i have these past few months. truth is i don't wish any wrong on you. i wish you the best. i love you so much, but i hate how you've made me feel. you left me a stronger, yet vulnerable, person than before i met you. sometimes i feel like you were the one that turned me into a recluse. it has it's pro's more than con's.

the medieval fair is coming up. i might ask you to go with me, depending on how i think you'll respond at the time. i hope you say yes because i'd like to see you again.}

so yea, i know everyone knows he's bad news but he is the only person that could make me happy. well i could think of another but that's not the point. lol. i'm getting over him and it doesnt help how i was lured into the chat box.

let's hope a bike ride will get my mind of things.

my heart will remain open to you.