blog

it's funny that once i start a new blog i don't feel like writing anything. sorry folks.

it's another rainy day....(well, not really)

work has worn me to the bone...when does it not? but i just have friday at a nice store; sat and sun from 8-3 and that's it til next friday. good deal for me.

coffee and late nights don't go together. right now i feel like throwing up.

should be studying but i am pooped. i feel a tinge of guilt. one friend betrays the other and i am just the messenger. where do you draw the line to how much you let out? doesn't that make you dishonest as well? questions questions i ask myself.

i really need to make an A on this test.

well that sucked....

so i went to the phys sci center for gary to fix my bike. he brought his co-worker/roommate. i think it was to prevent us from making moves on each other. he fixed my bike, it works, then he said bye without looking at me. i feel like shit.

it was stupid of me to ask him.

oh the anxiety is killing me!

this has been the sadest easters ever. i feel bad for the little kids that have to hunt eggs in the rain...lol. actually the sadest weekend.

gary texted me at work yestereday"hey have you fixed your bike yet." that made my day. but since i was at work i asked him if he'd do it tomorrow, which is today. i just called. he didnt pick up. i texted....well i wasn't like i was expecting a quick response but i'm too anxious that i can't do my homework. bouncing off the walls anxious. looking in the mirror over and over anxious. i have work at 4 so i really hope he gets on it before i have to go. :( it's killing me.

i've been doing some lazy shopping. that's what i like to call online shopping because you just sit at a computer. first off, i'd like to thank my bfffl for getting me a sexy yellow slip and for watching my bid on ebay. i also have been ebaying. i got a dress that i'm going to wear to a friend's sister's wedding and i also got two jackets that are the same but one is black and one is white. yea i know it sounds stupid but they were both cheap.

i've been sick for the past week, coughing, sneezing, nasty eye mucus. yea it's gross, so i'll spare the details.

just ronry

'i woke up tired and feeling old,
and i wondered why my bed was cold,
and i saw that you were gone,
and if so then for how long?
why would i ever let you go?'

i've been listening to that song constantly by hellogoodbye.

one minute there are so many guys, then next there aren't any. i'm starting to like someone new. someone that is at OU and smart. we'll just call him travis. so yesterday we had an ochem test and i kind of stalled a little bit waiting for him to get out so we could ride the bus the same time. oh gee, i sound like a stalker. oh, but it gets better. so we ride lloyde noble together but the bus was too crowded to sit with him. we ended up leaving the parking lot together and we were both heading home in the same direction down constitution. constitution was a one lane and it seriously looked like i was following him.....ahhhh, he's so cute! i hope he doesnt think i'm a stalker. but now i know where he lives ;P
i have a feeling he likes me but i'm not quite sure.

so the one i'm still hung up on is....gary. (code names, remember?) he got a facebook but i think he put every setting on private for me. i think he knows that i creep his facebook. damn it. he texted thursday "i just found a little star with a messagae from u 4 my 19th b-day" umm. ok why would you send that? are you trying to toy with me? you know i still like you, right? he is quite the complicated one. i texted him back asking if he was on campus so he could fix my bike which broke that day. he was in Arkcity for his internship's orientation. he said he would take a look at it for me but i dont know when that will be. hopefully he'll call because i dont want to be the one calling.

new jeff is out of my life. hasn't called or texted which is good. but i was hoping he could come keep my company for the weekend. travis and i don't know each other that well yet. i hope we could be more because if we do i'm dropping gary like a rock.

just my kitty crushes ;P meow

i'll be missin' you

today was nothing short of what i could have wanted. he and i hung out today for the first time in 5 months. it was easier that i thought. thought he'd put up a fight but he didn't. i asked him to go the medieval fair with me. he said 'no' at first and called me back to accept. i tried my best to have no emotion towards the situation but butterflies fill my stomach as i waited to get out of work. i miss his embrace too much. i'd die just for one more

i'm in a current feud with my sister. her boyfriend is a nice guy but dumb as a doornail. i think she can do better. i expressed my concerns/ corrective criticisim and she didnt take too kindly. it's dumb.

i just don't care anymore. one thing i cannot stray too far from is school.

'hey jude, don't make it bad
turn a sad song and make it better
remember to let her into your heart
then you can start to make it better'